The phone conversation I just had with a telemarketer

Telemarketer: Is this Frameworks Wine?

Me: No. (sigh) This is the cellphone of the wife of the winemaker. We have no idea how my number wound up on call lists.

Telemarketer (Laughing): Well, I hope you’re out shopping and spending his hard-earned money.

Me (very cheery): No, actually. And that’s an incredibly sexist thing to say.

Telemarketer (Slightly frightened): I didn’t mean it that way.

Me (Even more cheerful): I know you didn’t and that’s part of the pervasive problem of sexism in our society. Please take us off your list.

Telemarketer (Very sincere): Absolutely.

Me (My smile could cut you): Have a nice day.

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23 thoughts on “The phone conversation I just had with a telemarketer”

      1. There seem to be plenty of people who still default to those kinds of assumptions. It sure feels to me like a lot of them are telemarketers. My ex-partner’s last name was Cook, and sometimes when I’d answer the phone, they’d ask “is this Mr. Cook?” – problematic in multiple ways since they’re assuming we’re married and that we have the same last name and that she took my last name. I tend to chalk it up to another aspect of the great cultural divide this country suffers from.

    1. I wish I could be surprised by that but people say similar things to me ALL THE TIME.

      However, the response? Was perfect. I wish I was that on the ball.

  1. You are much, much more patient with telemarketers than I am!

    Hopefully our telemarketing friend’s ears are still burning.

    1. Well, it’s a crappy job and it’s not their fault that they need to pay rent. I’m usually patient with that part of it. It was the unscripted comment that was a no-go for me.

  2. Wow that’s…kind of disgusting.
    And yeah, I still can’t believe line 3. Did he think that was funny or something?
    As somebody whose wife actually makes most of the money, that’s unbelievably offensive.
    I like how you stayed cheerful and chipper throughout. Probably scared the pants off him.

  3. Wait. When I woke up this morning, I thought it was 2012. Apparently, it’s 1952. When did this happen?

  4. Daniel Abraham

    I’m beginning to think Mad Men was actually some kind of weird ritual magick disguised as a TV show, and that we’re all being sucked back into the bad old days…

    1. Thank you for noticing Daniel! From the very first episode I hated the wink wink “good old days” sexist tone of the show, and never got into it at all.

  5. Murray Campobianco

    Very nicely done. But why are commenters assuming the telemarketer was male? I see no clue in the transcript. I think the fact that even women sometimes support these stereotypes is also very frightening.

  6. I remember when the telemarketer called with the chipper insincere “How are you doing today?” the day my dog died. So I told her. In detail. Then I told her that I didn’t care what was in her script, if she actually didn’t want to know how someone was doing, she shouldn’t ask. If she wanted to sell me something, fine, but I draw the line at her pretending to care for me as a human being, or guilt-tripping me into lying and saying “Fine” when I wasn’t.

  7. An older male co-worker asked if I could put in a request for a bathroom mirror, because it would sound better coming from someone with “feminine vanity”. I blinked and said mildly that I didn’t have any. He sighed and asked if I could please do it anyway, as he had asked for too much petty cash already, and he really needed this request to come from someone else. Given the re-phrase, I said I’d be happy to help.

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