In our last episode, Mary was reunited with a high school friend who offered her a ride back home. Shortly after joining forces with Irene and Edwin, our intrepid heroine was in the back of a comfortable auto heading to Portland. As they motored along, traffic slowed because of an accident to the side of the road.
A warning buzzer went off on the dashboard, cutting through their conversation. The left front tire was flat. Edwin pulled safely off the interstate and into the parking lot of a gas station. There, our travelers learned that not it was not merely the left front tire, but both left tires had fallen victim to debris from the accident.
At this point, via Twitter, Rose Fox noted that Mary seemed to have accidentally cast in an adventure film or buddy picture. The buddy picture seemed more likely because Irene and Mary have known each other since seventh grade. However, the picture came with an amusing twist. Mary and Irene wearing both in trousers, while Irene’s husband sported a utilikilt and long hair.
Putting in a call to AAA, the threesome passed their time in a local bar awaiting a tow truck. This allowed them to do the requisite bonding over drinks. A musical montage ensued.
The tow truck arrived in record time. Sadly, it could only accommodate two passengers so the company parted ways. Mary chose to stay in a nearby hotel and take the train back in the morning while Irene and her romantic lead returned to Portland.
Unbeknowst to them until after they departed Mary’s company, the car’s odometer read 6660. Further complicating matters, Amtrak’s booking system was down for maintenance because, as a friend noted, it makes sense to take your website offline during a major holiday weekend.
Will Mary get home? Stay tuned for more exciting adventures!
(I completely wish I were joking about any of this. But it is pretty darn amusing at this point.)
Okay, that’s it. I give up.
If you didn’t want to attend critique group on Sunday morning, you could have just claimed that your cat ate the manuscripts.
That would have been *far* more credible than this interminable farrago of fabrication!
Oh bother. I completely forgot that I was going to miss the critique group.
While you are there, please turn this story into a novel, send it to Random House before the weekend is over, have them publish it and turn it into a movie too. Make sure you are directing and include puppets.
Puppets. That’s what it’s missing. And a musical number.
If you wrote that into a story, people would never believe it. You’d get the note that you were over complicating the pudding.
🙂 Glad you made it home.
Alas. I have yet to make it home although I am closer.
I’m almost positive that this is a Sandra Bullock movie. It’ll come to me which one…
I’ll be on a bus later…
I WANT to see the resulting zombie Santa puppet.
Absolutely! I think he was running the gas station we stopped at.
Getting felt up by the TSA is one thing but you, Ms. K, have made me swear off traveling of any kind. Lost planes, missing underwear, car issues, robot attacks, stalking by Ed Asner: You travails are horrifying and frequent but I raise my glass of morning tea to you for soldiering on despite these obstacles that are many and frequent in your journeys.
Now if you will excuse me, I have to begin walking south as I have an engagement in New York City on Friday and I do not wish to be late.
I do think that is the smartest option for travel. Or at least the most reliable.
Oh no. It really has been one thing after another. I hope you make it home safe and soon.
If I were required to go on a long road trip with you, I’m not sure if I’d run the other way, screaming, or enthusiastically cheer for the quirky journey ahead of me…
Why not both?
As Neil Peart said in a recent book, “Adventures suck when you’re having them.”
As my mentor said, after a set fell over, “Someday you’re going to look back on this and laugh, so you may as well laugh now.”