50 Shades of Milk and Honey?

I just saw someone decline a recommendation for Shades of Milk and Honey because they didn’t like Fifty Shades of Grey
.

Um.

Yeah…

But it’s led to a conversation on Twitter and then @RobJamesMorgan said, “50 Shades of Milk and Honey! You’re sitting on a gold mine!” And who am I to turn down a gold mine? So, here’s what 50 Shades of Milk and Honey might look like.

Vincent thrust deep, deep into the ether. Slowly he drew out a thick fold of glamour & wrapped it tight and hard around Jane.

In reply, Jane stroked the folds of glamour, wrapping her fingers around the throbbing fabric of ether. Never had she held glamour so completely in her grasp, wrapping it around her form so that it obscured her completely, burying her in the luscious strands, and binding her to him. Her breath came hot and quick.

He groaned, deep in his throat, as he tried to match her strand, for strand. A bead of perspiration slid slowly down his firm jaw, disappearing behind his high collar. Jane quivered as she held the glamour more firmly. Now was not the time to let her knots unbind. There would be time for that later.

Some of my other favorite takes on this:

  • @hrothfar: #FiftyShadesofMilk: The History of Homogenization, Curds, and Whey
  • @kurtpankau: Jane Austen with magic. And handcuffs.
  • @bangertimo: “Fifty Shades of Milk and Honey and Zombies.” I sense NYT best seller!
  • @ErikElgerot: Fifty Shades of Earl Grey?

Your turn.

Did you know you can support Mary Robinette on Patreon!

14 thoughts on “50 Shades of Milk and Honey?”

    1. Quick! Distract yourself by noticing that there are apparently only two verbs applicable for working glamour in this context, and three adjectives! Then wonder how anyone can read anything with such a narrow vocabulary.

      Or wonder if perhaps glamour is substantial enough to strangle….

  1. Hmmm… I don’t have any examples of Regency porn, but did run across a copy lf The Pearl not too long ago. Will Victorian porn do?

  2. “I’m going to teach you about coldmongering,” Vincent said.

    His eyes smoldered, but his fingertips were like ice. Jane could not contain her gasp. …

      1. Just as long as she didn’t blink. Because, you know, that would be period inappropriate.

Comments are closed.

Scroll to Top