I went up to Wheeling to hear Scalzi read, which was fun as always. Our plan was for me to drive him back into Chicago, which is a good plan. I got him to Chicago with no problems and then… and then the travel karma kicked in. Really, I should have known. I mean his travel karma is legendary in its epic fail and mine is so weird that there’s a drinking game to go with it.
I went to go return the Zipcar I had checked out. First there was a detour, no big deal, the road was closed for construction. I had to do a little twisting to get past it but nothing major. It wasn’t until I got back to the lot where the Zipcar was supposed to be parked that the karma really showed itself.
Allow me to demonstrate why Scalzi and I should NEVER travel together.
See that? That’s a fire truck because where I was supposed to park the car was on fire. On FIRE.
Just think what would have happened if we had tried to take an airplane together.
The mind shudders at the concept. Talk about Marygoround going badly wrong…
Please promise us all you will never, ever, get on a plane with Scalzi, and if it’s unavoidable you’ll take along a dozen rabbits feet, a few four-leaf clovers, and a full carry-on survival kit for when the plane inevitably goes down over a deserted island.
Good gracious. You really should have known better.
Julia:
No, no. Goodness Gracious, Great Balls of FIRE.
“Perish the thought.”
“Just think what would have happened if we had tried to take an airplane together.”
I assume you would end up on some strange island with unexplained polar bears and weird hatches.
As long as they didn’t also get a guy who looked like a young Bob Denver, that might be all right.
Oh, Mary.
I’m suspect you had an interesting conversation with the ZipCar folks.
“Hi there, the parking space is on fire.”
It was very much like that, followed by:
“Yes ma’am. I can help you with that. The parking lot is on Leavitz.”
“No, I meant it is on fire. Aflame. With fire trucks.”
“… Oh. Thank you for letting us know.”
Hilarious. But consider that your luck may be changing…at least the spot was on fire BEFORE you parked in it, rather than spontaneously combusting as you parked.
But ONLY because I dropped Scalzi off first. If he had still been in the car when I returned it, then we would have arrived as the fire was starting.
Is that guy’s shirt open?? I think that’s the better reason not to travel together.
You should fly from Chicago to LA with him, I’d love to see you two find a deserted island on that flight path.
Youch. Now I see. But I am inclined to agree with Ms. Ruth Roberts, who points out that perhaps you were quite lucky. In a Clouseau kind of way.