Want to read a draft of an SF novella?

This is a 16,200 word SF novella that I’ve written for Audible.com’s shared world anthology series, Metatropolis. I’m looking for readers who would be willing to give me their gut reaction to it.

Mostly what I’m looking for though are large story issues. In particular, things that:

1. Confuse you
2. You don’t believe
3. You are bored by
4. You think are cool

In other words, what I’m looking for is your reader reaction. I should note that for those of you who are interested in process, this is a raw draft. Basically I’ve hit The End and posted it. It’s also something that I wrote specifically to be read aloud, so I handle the text a little differently, knowing that a narrator will be involved.

Here’s the teaser for “Forest of Memory.”

[Note to narrator and director: The main character, Katya, is in her early thirties. She’s lived her entire life connected to the web and this is the first time she’s telling something from memory, instead of being able to look at old footage. The telling of the story should sound as naturalistic as possible. I want stumbles and places where it’s halting as if she’s reaching for the right words. I have stage notes in brackets and at times for non-verbal lines, like [aggravated noise]. Please act those instead of reading them. ]

So.
So, I just want to reiterate the terms of our deal before we begin. My name is Katya Gould and I am agreeing to an exclusive with you, Username:Docent. I confirm that I have not told the full story before and will not. You agree that you will not share the experience with anyone. By “story” I mean the recounting of the three days that I spent in the company of the man I knew as “Johnny.”

Now that we’re clear on that, give me a moment to confirm that your payment is in my account… Got it. Thank you.

[deep breath, settling herself]

One of the questions you had wanted me to talk about was “Why.” Why am I telling this now after so much time has passed. The answer is that I’m not entirely certain. It may be a terrible idea.

He said he wanted witnesses, but no records. I thought he meant that I shouldn’t tell anyone what I saw in the woods, but I keep thinking about it and I think I was wrong. A witness is someone who reports what they observed, right? So, what he wanted was for me to tell you what I saw. To tell someone. Maybe everyone… I don’t know.
There’s a chance that agreeing to an exclusive is the wrong choice.

It’s so strange trying to remember without being able to pull up the recording and just look at it. I keep turning that those three days over in my head so that, in some ways, they’re sharper than any other memory in my life. In other ways, I think I’m wearing the edges off the memory by looking at it so much.

 

If you want to read, just use the form to get the password.

Edited to add:
I’ve turned the story in, so I’ve locked the draft. Thank you to everyone who offered comments.

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