I Scream, you scream…

For reasons I don’t understand, the guys in the galley on the Portland Spirit, were trying to do horror screams. This was before the cruise started or any guests came on board. I poked my head in and told them it was pathetic and that after the cruise I would show them a real scream.

Now, there are things to be proud of, but I freely admit that this is a strange one; I have a great blood-curdling scream. It’s not the sort of thing you can trot out at parties to impress people and there are only a few occasions where it even comes up in conversation. I discovered the skill way back when I was touring Pied Piper of Hamelin. The script began with the stage direction, “Darkness, followed by a blood-curdling scream.” I had to build to it, of course, but by the end of a three year tour, I had discovered how to relax my throat to get those lovely overtones that you hear in horror films.

I really thought the galley guys would forget about it, while I secretly hoped they wouldn’t. At the end of the cruise, Armin passed me while I was cleaning the heads and said, “Are you still going to scream for us?”

Now, given a choice between screaming and cleaning a bathroom, which would you choose? I thought so. I stripped off my rubber gloves, went into the galley and we closed the giant metal door. They were like little kids with their excitment. There were still a few of the customers on board, the contact and a hanger-on, but they were at the other end of the boat. Even so, to be safe, I muffled the scream by covering my mouth with my hand.

You would think that I had just performed an aria, the way they all hooted and clapped after I belted one out. I was so proud.

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