Dancing and accounting as an expression of love. Twue wuv…

What you are about to see is not brilliant dancing. It is, instead, an example of the ways in which my husband loves me. Before we got married, I had the standard checklist that people develop on things that their partner must have. One of those, for me, was ballroom dancing. My parents met in a dance class. I was in the Raleigh Junior Cotillion Club in high school. Ballroom dance was very much a part of my social world.

Rob does not dance.

I love him more than that checklist.

He agreed to learn a slow foxtrot for our wedding, because he knew it was important to me, but emphasized that it would be the only time that we would dance together. It would have been easier to come to terms with, if he had not been good at it.

Periodically, during our twelve years of marriage, I would make jokes like, “You know… dance lessons would be a great 40th birthday present.” They were not really jokes, but I also knew that dancing confounds him. I did not expect him to ever, ever dance with me.

Then in January, he asked if we could make a change in the way we handled our accounting. Yes, of course. And then he said, “I know that accounting and finances are an area that you are uncomfortable, but this change is important to me. So I want to offer to do something I find equally uncomfortable. Would you like to take dance lessons with me?”

He does not enjoy it. Dance still confounds him. He is dancing because it makes me happy. And I’m splitting expenses into… well there’s accounting and blech and it confounds me and I’m doing it because it makes him happy.

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21 thoughts on “Dancing and accounting as an expression of love. Twue wuv…”

  1. This is awesome – but it would look even better in costume – perhaps that is the next thing 🙂

  2. I think he’s doing an excellent job! On behalf of women everywhere who wish their husbands danced more, I am very impressed. 🙂

  3. He IS good! And he really does love you, to learn to dance. Beautiful; thanks for sharing this personal story.

  4. Mawwige.

    I’ve seen him in formal wear (and everyone’s seen you in fancy dresses) and so I think costumes would cover any deficiencies of technique.

    La! The waltz! So scandalous, it is well that you have a marriage of such long-standing. fans self

  5. What a wonderful agreement. Doing something outside your comfort zone for someone you love is a great thing.

  6. I love this video- love that no one else is dancing, that the music is not actually a waltz, that you seem to be waltzing silently through…an art opening.

  7. Kassie Jennings

    Yet another way in which Vincent is modeled after your husband, I see. He’s a good dancer but is so clearly uncomfortable with doing it. This is exactly how I pictured Vincent dancing in Without A Summer.

  8. Rob does a great job. He has a wonderful strength in his dancing. Give him my best, he really must have wanted that accounting change. ;+)

  9. Terje Mathisen

    My wife was just like you, she did ballroom dancing while young, while I ran away after a single set of lessons as a pre-teen.

    We met at university and she persuaded me to take some swing lessons with her, which was OK I guess. 🙂

    Some years later we went on to ballroom dancing, now we’ve been doing it for almost 20 years.

    It is a lot of fun to go dancing somewhere and realize that the live band is playing a nice cha-cha, slowfox, tango, quick-step or waltz, we’re very often the only couple dancing but that just means that we have lots more room.

    On a RCCL cruise ship last fall the latin band recognized us very quickly, so from day two or so they would segue from whatever they were playing directly into a cha-cha as soon as we walked into the room and approached the dance floor.

    PS. We’ve been taking lessons from a former world champion for the last 5 years or so, this just means that we know how incredibly far we still are from being good, but as long as we both have fun that’s the most important thing, right?

  10. Mary,

    Your husband and my wife, Shannon sound remarkably similar. Though Shannon is what I like to call a “numbers geek”, she’s started reading more SF/Fantasy since we met. She’s watched quite a few SF/Fantasy movies, just not read much of it. So, anytime there is a math or accounting issue, especially math from school with our kids, she gets to handle it. When she needs something proofed or read for clarity, she hands it to me.

    It’s a nice arrangement.

  11. That’s lovely! *dissolves into mushy puddle*

    Mr. Rob, you’re a star, and Madame Mary, I get what you mean on accounting, but hey, It sure looks like it was worth it!

    Altogether now…AWWWWW =)

  12. Is it ok if I SQUEEEE all over your web site? This is the sweetest, most tender, most beautiful post I have read all month.

    (Also, you just reincarnated all my ballroom nostalgia, which has been languishing in the dusty back corners of my brain for the past ten years. Why oh why oh why do they not make better use of the dance halls during scifi conventions?)

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