Things said at work, redux

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Things I say

  1. I’m moving back to Shimmer land. Screw the gods.
  2. Just be sure you aren’t screwing when the actors get there.
  3. Can I get a stiffer rod?
  4. I can retain his rods if I hold them between my pelvis and his head
  5. May I touch your dead animal head?
  6. He couldn’t get it up.
  7. All I have to do is buy this moosehead and then pick up some KY jelly.
  8. I think I can give you a donut but I’ll have to sacrifice a baby bunny
  9. Give me a second to wash the blood off my hands
  10. All right. Who wants to be tied up?

What it really means

  1. I had been painting Greek gods for a show all day and needed to get back to layout
  2. Discussing set construction at a theater.
  3. The metal rod had too much spring in it for the weight of the puppet’s hand.
  4. I kept dropping the arm rods of a puppet that stood waist high.
  5. I was moving some taxidermy heads
  6. At the end of a long day, a puppeteer was too fatigued to lift his arm, and heavy puppet, over his head.
  7. I needed to complete a purchase of a taxidermied moose head on e-bay to be used as set dressing in a show about Teddy Roosevelt. The next item on my to-do list was to pick up KY jelly for another show. It goes in the bottom of ashtrays as a fire safety measure.
  8. We needed a donut to appear magically on stage. The only foam that I had that had the right density was part of a baby bunny prop.
  9. I was mixing stage blood and had it all over my hands
  10. I needed to test a trick rope that had a quick release.
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12 thoughts on “Things said at work, redux”

  2. Mike F

    You should make it a quiz. Just to see what peoplecthink you are talking about. On second thought, I’m not sure that is a good idea.

  3. Rob Kimbro

    I’m curious (and confident that there’s a good answer): why KY in the ashtrays and not the traditional sand? The trays are too shallow and the KY less visible and less likely to escape?

  6. Jen

    You know, “Take Your Kid to Work Day” is coming up… can I be your kid? It sounds like too much fun. 🙂

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