My grandmother, Mary Elois Stephens Jackson, passed away this morning at 109 years. She had a good run and I know that she was ready to go, but I am going to miss her deeply.
She was a wonderful, remarkable woman.
Grandma turns up in my fiction twice. If you want to get a sense of her spirit and gumption, she appears most recognizably in First Flight at Tor.com. That gives just a hint of what she was like. I had the idea for the story while visiting Grandma and realizing that she remembered the Titanic going down, the Great War, getting the Vote, the Spanish Flu. Heck, she knew people who fought in the Civil War. Staggering, huh? She was one of the primary sources when I was researching medicine shows, because she remembered going.
That was one of the remarkable things about Grandma. She was well over a hundred years old and her memory was remained sharp. She could tell you such stories.
The other time she shows up in my fiction is less happy. In Lady Astronaut of Mars, the scenes where Alma is caring for her husband were written while I was staying with Grandma and saw the dignity with which she handled the indignities of aging. At 102, she could still thread a needle and had always been independent so in the last couple of years when her body started to become unreliable, I think it was doubly hard for her. She was able to “do for herself” for such a long time. She didn’t like to put other people out or be a burden.
Grandma worked at Loveman’s in the women’s sportswear department until she was 82 and only stopped then because she had her second hip replaced. Even that didn’t really slow her down. It was impossible to go anywhere with her, without people saying “Hello Miss Jackson.” It was always “Miss Jackson” even to my dad. Everyone knew her and she remembered them, by name. At her 105th birthday, I remember there was a receiving line out the Fellowship Hall at the church, down the hallway, outside and almost to the parking lot. Over two hundred people came to wish her well and she knew them all. More impressive? She looked at the guest book afterwards and knew who had been there but hadn’t signed it.
She raised five children, worked hard her entire life, and took care of people around her, even people she didn’t know. I remember a rare occasion of going out to lunch with her — she usually cooked at home for us — and a waitress dropped a tray of glasses. Everyone else in the restaurant looked around. Someone applauded. Grandma just took another sip of her water and shook her head. “I never look when someone drops something. I wouldn’t want people to notice if I made a mistake and staring at them doesn’t do any body any good.”
Even after she became unsteady on her feet she still would take care of family and friends through prayer.
She’d talk about living through the Depression. “We didn’t have much, but no body else did either so we didn’t realize we were missing anything.”
I think I’m in shock because at a certain point, you start to think that maybe she’s immortal, you know?
Here, let me stop trying to tell you about Grandma. Have a little visit with her. In between songs, Grandma tells a few stories about her father. She’s a mere 107 in this video. (My dad is the one on the fiddle)
I like to think that maybe she’s dancing with Granddaddy right now, while her father fiddles for them.
That’s truly amazing. I can see why the world didn’t want to let go of her for 109 years. It’s wonderful that you got to know such an amazing human being and be a part of her life. I hope the pain of her passing eases in time, and you have my thoughts and love.
Yeah. Last year, she broke her leg and was walking again in a week. At a certain point, you start to think maybe she can bounce back from anything.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I loved it when you posted a video interview with her a few years back. She told wonderful stories about the early 20th century. I’m very glad to hear that she was largely independent up until the last couple of years. You and your family are in my thoughts.
She was fine, really, until her eardrums ruptured and her sense of balance went.
I’m so sorry, Mary. This is a beautiful portrait of someone who was undeniably a very special woman. You and your family are in my thoughts. I hope a wonderful, full life, so very well-lived, is some small solace in this time.
Oh, Mary. I’m so very sorry. I know how much you loved her, and she sounds absolutely incredible, a trait that runs in your family.
My grandma passed away this Tuesday. There must be one hell of a dance going on.
You’re in my heart and thoughts. Best, s.
I am so sorry to hear about your grandma, and yes — I bet they are having a grand time of it.
It sounds like she was a wonderful woman.
Rest in peace, Miss Jackson.
She sounds like an absolutely wonderful person, so sorry to hear she passed. Her spirit will find a way to keep dancing…
If I may, I offer up a video along with my condolences.
http://youtu.be/GrNNWWityAw
An awesome lady.
Oh, Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss. I loved hearing your stories about your grandmother, and you were so lucky to have so many years with her, and to get to share all her remarkable memories and experiences. Sending lots of love to you and your family.
Condolences on your loss. What a marvelous branch to have on your family tree!
Condolences Mary. I know she meant the world to you
I’m very sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful, remarkable woman.
Thank you for sharing this, Mary, and I am sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss.
she seems so awesome.
i’m having trouble finding something that isn’t taken from “Jonathon Livingston Seagull” or isn’t some religious statement or just empty condolences [being pagan, i try to not push my views, na da?]
so long as you remember her, she lives. so long as someone remembers YOU, you both live. and so on.
since you’re a Famous Author, i think you guys are set 🙂
I’m so sorry for your grandmother’s passing, Mary. She sounds like a remarkable woman and I love the way you talk about her.
My grandparents are 95 (almost 96) and 90. My grandfather’s always had an amazing memory (also grew up during the depression) and we’re just barely seeing it begin to fail. It’s the hardest thing because he could tell you what he wore on a specific day at almost any point of his life. Right now, he’s having a hard time knowing what time of the day it is.
We feel so lucky to have had them both for as long as we have. I’m so happy for you that she had 109 years and blessed so many people’s lives. God bless you and your family during this hard time.
Sorry to hear about your loss, Mary. She sure had a hell of a run. It sounds like she lived life to the fullest all the way up to 109. Incredible.
I’m very sorry for your loss. From your tribute, she appears to have been a truly remarkable person.
Truly an amazing woman, apparently of a line of amazing women. I’m sure she’s smiling on you from Heaven…and pretty sure that Heaven is a place in our hearts.
Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss. Miss Jackson sounds like an amazing woman. May her memory be a blessing.
My deepest sympathies, Mary. A lovely tribute for a clearly remarkable woman who really *lived*. You’ll always be blessed with memories of her.
My condolences, and best wishes.
(I have no doubts that your grandmother was as proud of you as you are of her.)
I’m so sorry for your loss, Mary. I had an awesome grandma too – equally sharp (and sharp-witted!) up until the time of her death two weeks shy of her 96th birthday. When she was growing up, it was still horse-and-buggy days in the south. She, too, remembered everyone and everything and told the most incredible stories. I miss her still.
I like to think that Miss Jackson and Miss Baldwin (my grandma) are sipping on some sweet tea and sharing a laugh right now.
Sending you warmth and compassion,
Mary
so sorry, Mary.
Mary, like you, I was blessed to have one of my grandmothers for a very long time, until she was 95. She was very interesting herself, and had a lot of interests going, even when she became housebound. You had such a wonderful grandmother! Thank you so much for posting this. My sympathies to you and your family.
I am very sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. My condolences go out to you and your family. She really did had a great run and I know she will never be forgotten in your family!
So sorry for this loss to you and your family, Mary. Thanks for sharing a small bit of your grandmother’s awesomeness with us.
Condolences to you and your family. I have read both First Flight and Lady Astronaut of Mars; thank you for sharing your grandmother with us in your words.
I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing your memories with us. My condolences to you and your entire family.
I am sorry for your loss. Anyone who has ever heard you talk about your grandmother knows what a remarkable person she was and how much you loved her. Her memory is a blessing for all who knew her, even those of us who only did so second-hand through your stories. Her spirit certainly lives on in you and your family.
My thoughts are with you all, and I hope that the comfort you have in each other will ease the ache.
Thank you so much for sharing your grandmother with us. What a wonderful woman.
My mother would have been 100 later this summer but she died nearly two years ago – still very independent, and only her final illnesses made her less than the sharp, wily, funny woman that she was in all the time I knew her.
What a blessing to have known such a remarkable women for so long. Thank you for sharing her with us.
I am sad that’s she’s gone, but glad she was here for so long. And that her stories and memories live on. She’ll be missed.
Yeah, when someone gets past 100 in decent health and with all their marbles, you sort of expect them to go on forever.
The world is better for having had Miss Jackson in it, and I can think of no finer epitaph.
She sounds absolutely remarkable — a role model for old age.
Condolences to you and your family.
I’m so sorry for your loss, she sounds to have been amazing. I’m glad you were so fortunate to have had her in your life.
My condolences, Mary. You wrote a beautiful eulogy for your grandmother.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I remember you talking about your grandmother when I interviewed you at Nebulas last year. What a true Lady – so sorry for her passing. I know you’ll miss her.
So sorry to read this, Mary. I know how much she meant to you.
Truly a remarkable life.
It sounds like you had an incredible person in your life. I’m sorry for your loss, and I wish you much joy as you remember her. God bless.
Belated condolences to you and your family, Mary.
Your grandmother seemed to be a wonderful lady who had a long, rich and interesting life. You are very lucky to have had someone like her in your life. Hope this makes her passing a little easier to take.