I was heading downtown during rushhour last night and somewhat miraculously had a seat on the train. The usual crowd was trying to push in and this guy started shouting, “Move the f**k in. Move to the center. I’m getting on this train.”
Not unusual.
A tax broker type in the middle of the train shouted back, “You’re in the train. Shut up already.”
“Come on and make me.”
“Why are you still shouting? You’re in the train.”
The shouting guy continued unabated. “You want to come over here and make me. Move into the train.”
Tax broker was standing dead center of the train. It’s unclear exactly where shouting guy wanted him to move. The doors were shut and we were moving at this point, so you know, shouting guy didn’t have a case for being angry. Tax broker said, “Just shut up already.”
“You shut up.”
“Shut up.”
“You shut up.”
The three-year old level of conversation continued for a bit and then shouting guy sayid, “No, you shut up, you devil!”
At which point we pretty much all laughed. Shouting guy nodded, “Yeah! That’s what I’m talking about.”
A woman from another section of the train said, “They’re laughing at you.”
Silence. Shouting guy got off at the next stop.
What makes me really curious is where he came up with “You devil!” I felt like I’d run across a time-traveler from the past who’d been told that to pretend to be a contemporary New Yorker he had to be antagonistic but wasn’t given the full vocabulary list of expletives.
He was building up to “Mountebank!”, but they reached his stop first.
Zounds!
Maybe the shouting guy needed more room for his invisible friends?
Forsooth! Methinks you have it.
That is a delightful story of the shouting-fiend-of-the-train.
Somehow that sounds like a Nancy Drew mystery.
I grew up reading the Hardy Boys, so this doesn’t surprise me too much. I even remember happening upon on Hardy Boys / Nancy Drew Supermystery.
Must have been one of those confused time-travellers again… How I hate those people.