I have zero memory of this one. What makes me laugh about this is that right now I’m designing The Arabian Nights for McCarter Theater and they just finished building a show called Lookingglass Alice. Ah…when worlds collide. How did my fifteen year old self know?
Sinbad was in his new palace, wandering around and wishing he had something to do when a messager from the Emperor came.
“My lord, my lord!” he cried.
“Yes, yes,” Sinbad said, “What is it?” He tapped his foot impatiently.
“My lord,” the messenger cried again. “The Emperor is ill and needs you to fetch an ingredient for his cure!”
“He does!” Sinbad leaped joyfully. “What can I fetch of him?” Sinbad thought of jeweled cups, genies and phoenixes.
“A jabberwock head,” the messenger replied.
“A what?” Sinbad looked at the messenger for an explanation.
“The jabberwock with jaws that bite and claws that catch. It lives in the Tulgey Wood and has eyes of flame,” the messenger said.
“And how may I kill this beast?” Sinbad inquired.
“With this vorpal sword.” The messenger handed him a gleaming blade.
Sinbad held the sword. “Wow…” he said. “I’ll do it.”
Sinbad set off and looked for his maxome foe a long time. After a while he got tired, so rested he by the tumtum tree and stood awhile and thought. “Why am I doing this? Is it for the fun? Naw…the glamour? Naw. I’ve still got glamour leftover from the last adventure…the girls? Yes!!!”
While he stood in uffish thought, the jabberwock with eyes of flame came whuffling through the Tulgey Wood and burbled as it came. He took his vorpal blade in hand and chopped off the jabberwock’s head.
Then he went galumphing back to the Emperor. When he arrived back, the lights were off and no sound was to be heard. “Alack, alas,” he cried in anguish. “I stood in uffish thought too long and now the Emperor is dead!”
He stepped across the threshold and heard the sound of 1,000 matches being lit. The room filled with light and to his joy, he saw the Emperor standing there. “April Fools!” he cried, and showered the bewildered Sinbad with gold.
The End
I think the April Fool’s ending is only marginally better than “And it was all just a dream,” but I like the way I used the text from “Jabberwocky.” So does this count as slipstream or straight fantasy or fanfic?
